My town put these bicycle sculptures along the route.
Hey, Dude, get your big fat head out of my shot.
The Russian Cyclist team. Cheating??? Okay, okay,I know they are spares, but WHERE are the cyclists?
Aha! Cyclists! Maybe. Uh, I don't know.It could be the mayor and his friends?
The Tour de France passed through our town yesterday. And it was weird. Basically, there was a parade of around 100 wrapped cars of advertisers playing dance music. Nesquick, Vittel Water, Bic, the list goes on. Then, I think, some cyclists passed, but I'm not so sure they were the athletes. An old man with a huge gut hanging over his tight bike shorts ? Yeah, I'm not so sure. After the random parade, I waited around for about 1/2 hour, confused. And then I went home.
I thought about wearing an American flag t-shirt and chanting USA, but I didn't want to end up in the emergency room again. Seriously, I am the only American in my town – just like a sideshow attraction. My motto in crowds is to blend in. Like a chameleon. A chameleon with blond highlights.
SOUND OFF: Where did the cyclists go? Where are they now? Did they make it to the Pyrénées? And don't they know I just had a bicycle accident/loup garou attack? Are they just rubbing it in? To torture me?
Coming up soon: pink toilet paper; I hate it.
