(We're gonna zoom-zoom-zoom-zooma-zoom. We're gonna zoom-zoom-zoom-zooma-zoom. Get it? No? Oh well.)
Sorry for the long blogging hiatus, but this summer was busy with a capital B. I spent six weeks back in the good ol' USA, getting my fill of American life. You'd think it was an extended vacation. It wasn't. Two of said weeks were spent playing tour guide to la fille and two of her French girlfriends. More on that later. The rest of the time was spent trying to balance my first round of edits with the memoir, entertaining my family-- traveling from San Diego to San Francisco, and creating a keepsake charm and video and for my publisher's annual sales conference, which I've posted below.
Okay, so. Have you ever tried creating a video on your own? Good god, I felt like a fool talking to my iPad. It must have taken me three thousand takes--even with a script. I've posted some of the more humorous? outtakes from the sales video below. Yes, I am a ham. And, yes, my name is Sam. And, no, calling somebody a ham in French doesn't translate. At all. Tu es vraiment un jambon? Nope. Doesn't work.
You are not going to believe this, but I've always been terminally shy, the kind of kid who just stood at the side of the playground with a Cabbage Patch smile on her face until somebody asked me to play. Well, unless I'm on a stage. Once the nerves settle down-- I'm an extrovert- as seen below while singing karaoke in front of a large audience, which included my mother. Oh, the song? Totally appropriate and something the whole family can enjoy. "I Touch Myself."
On a serious note, yes, I put myself out there, but that doesn't mean I'm not petrified. I am. I have two books coming out next year, which is great! But soon people will be judging me and my writing, and, moreover, when it comes to my memoir, my life. Reviewers can be so very cruel, calling fellow memoirists things like "narcissistic whores," "bi-polar bitches," or "whiny," and "self-absorbed."
Um, I love myself? I want you to love me? Yeah, that won't cut it. Yet, here I am exposing myself. In a book. About my life. Please keep me off Amazon.
Let's go streaking?
Okay. I can't do that.
SOUND OFF: Even if you have confidence, what do you do to settle down those nagging insecurities? Do you just say-- I DON'T CARE. I LOVE IT!, crash your car into a bridge, and let it burn? Or, do you care?
p.s. Mom? Another shot of tequila, perhaps? What's up with the sideways video? And who is that guy with the beer?
Horse Image courtesy of dan at FreeDigitalPhotos.net