Etre une cochonne Americaine en France (to be a greedy American woman in France*)

*Note: une cochonne (literally a pig) has a sexual connotation if referring to a woman, especially if used with the word petite. Yeah, I wouldn't use the term when talking to strangers in France. Or would I? Funny the things I do for a laugh...

And now that that's settled on to the subject of today's post.

French women may not get fat (according to Mireille Guiliano's bestselling book), and weight control may be all about portion control, but I'll tell you one thing: put an unaware American woman in France with a bunch of new and delectable dishes and she's sure to gain some kilos. I should know. I'm that woman. Le sigh...

Since I've moved to France I've gained over 10 (yes 10!!!) kilos.

Note: There are 2.2 pounds in one kilo. Weight gain sounds much better in kilos, don'tcha think? Not good at math? I gained 22 pounds – a lot for me and my frame.


I actually went out the other day in search of a SPANX-like product. Not good, people. Not good.

I could blame the extra poundage on crème fraiche...or the bread...or the wine. But I can't. It isn't even about the portions. The problem? I wasn't paying attention to what I was eating until one day, lo and behold, my skinny jeans (the ones I was so proud I could fit into) wouldn't make it up around my hips. Forget about zipping them, buttoning them....

Alas, and another le sigh...

I now have a ka-dunk-a-dunk, a shelf. Uh-huh, this baby's got back. And while bigger boobs may be a blessing, the muffin top that goes along with them is not a pretty site. At all. And I could blame France and it's wonderful food. But that wouldn't be fair either. I mean, it's not France's fault writers tend to live a pretty sedentary lifestyle, spending hours at the computer, that time escapes us, that the excuses go on.

Well, no more! Not for this girl! I'm on a new mission. I'm getting off the computer and back on track. I'm watching what I eat, I'm working out, and I've already lost three kilos. My routine includes biking or jogging/walking briskly for 30-40 minutes, dancing like a freak in the kitchen for 2o minutes, and light weights/stretching/sit ups/push ups for 20 minutes. I've also discovered a love for healthy homemade soups and a few other low-fat, but delicious, recipes, which I'll share with you soon. And I have more energy! Crazy energy!

In the meantime, the next time you order these standard items off a French menu, and you want to keep your figure as is, think about the caloric intake.

Quiche Lorraine and a side salad= 550 calories per serving.
Moules Frites (Mussels and Fries)= Mussels are around 400 calories a serving, add the fries...
Confit de canard aux pommes de terre= Duck processed in its own fat. With potatoes. Need I say more? 660 calories per serving.
Tartiflette= Potatoes in cheese with little pieces of ham called lardons and crème fraiche. 550 calories per serving.

This winter, the list of foods I ate on a regular basis goes on and on and on. Is it any wonder I gained a few? Oh, tartiflette, I'm sure I'll see you again next winter, but not every week, k?

Any of you gain a few kilos this winter? What are you doing about it?

I'm visiting blogs tomorrow and I'll be back here next Wednesday (hopefully one or two kilos lighter...) For now, I'm putting on the new J-Lo/Pit Bull track and I'm off to do some spastic dancing in the kitchen...and then I'm going to try and jam my fat ass into my skinny jeans. Goals: you've got to set them.

Gros bisous.


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