I'm barely legal




It's a party here in France. (No, the freaky looking dog is not mine. He/she makes me laugh. Hard).

Anyhoo, I had my interview at L'OFFI – immigration – and they gave me my "premier titre de sejour" – a fancy pants France way of saying my first green card. I also received two certificates: one stating I'm able to speak French satisfactorily (the guy may have had a hearing problem) and the other which says I am competent, professionally speaking. I may have told him I liked banging on drums all day. Who knows? Half the time I don't what I'm saying in English, let alone French. But I'm here. And I'm legal until next August when I'll have to apply for my carte de sejour.



BLAME THEM FOR EVERYTHING

IMMIGRANTS





That's right. I'm an immigrant. And I never, ever thought I'd be saying that.

I declare yesterday Samantha Became An Almost Legal Immigrant Day! To celebrate this monumental occasion here's a song:

American in
(a small village near) Toulouse – sung to the tune of Sting's (which doesn't rhyme either, nor meter) Englishman in New York

Fill my wine glass up some more, madame
It may be true the French aren't fat.
But all these cheese varieties have taken their toll on me.
I'm an American in (a small village near) Toulouse

See me walking down a Rue I can't pronounce
In yoga pants and bright white keds
iPod blaring out the tunes
I'm an American in (a small village near) Toulouse

Oh-oh I'm an alien I'm a barely legal alien
I'm an American in (a small village near) Toulouse
Oh-oh I'm an alien I'm a barely legal alien
I'm an American in (a small village near) Toulouse

My mouse voice comes out as weak
When I ask for my baguette
Madame hands it over with a smile
Bonne journée she sends me on my way

Oh-oh I'm an alien I'm a barely legal alien
I'm an American in (a small village near) Toulouse
Oh-oh I'm an alien I'm a barely legal alien
I'm an American in (a small village near) Toulouse

Being an American here can lead to notoriety
I'm pretty sure I'm the only one
They stare at me, a freak, in this society
My blonde hair shimmering in the sun

Filling out paperwork isn't my strongest suit
Takes more than a license for a car
At the prefecture, and then the mairie
I just can't seem to get anything done.

It's hard to understand a word that's said
Especially when the liaisons come out so fast
So I just smile and play along
Bonne journée they send me on my way

Bonne journée they send me on my way

Oh-oh I'm an alien I'm a barely legal alien
I'm an American in (a small village near) Toulouse
Oh-oh I'm an alien I'm a barely legal alien
I'm an American in (a small village near) Toulouse

Bonne journée they send me on my way


 

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