Monday Melting Pot: Talking Turkey


I'm going back to Cali (fornia) for a week and I've been warned: no blogging. But, seeing that I'm twenty (x) two (+) 1, it's not as if the parents can ground me or anything like that. And if they could, I'd probably do something crazy, like, I don't know, marry a Frenchman and move to France.

Whoops. Been there. Done that.

Which explains why I'm about to channel my inner Julia Child instead of a small child. Before I take off, I thought I'd leave you with some of my Turkey Day tips.

Make a martini. Drink it.

TURKEY: Give Tom a bath. It'll tenderize the meat. Okay, not really a bath, per se, but brine him the day before. Nobody likes a dry turkey. Some people soak overnight, but I'm not one of them.

How to make a brine: Put Tom in a bucket (or a cooler, or a clean kitchen sink). Fill said receptacle with cold water and lots of ice, covering Tom. Add some Kosher salt. Add cloves. Add Grand Marnier (1/2 cup). Add lemons, limes, oranges. Maybe some brown sugar. Let Tom soak and drink in the goodness for at least six to eight hours. DO NOT TASTE this mixture, no matter how good it may smell. We're talking raw poultry here. Put Tom back in the fridge covered with Saran Wrap and placed in one of those disposable roasting tins.

Make a martini. Drink it.

The following day, before you put Tom in the oven, cut into his skin with a sharp knife and shove pads of butter into the slots – about six to ten. (I'm sounding very Stephen King Misery here). Then, rub Tom down with brown sugar. Oh yeah, baby, he likes it. A little pain. A little sugar.

Boom-chicka-wow-wow. Moving on...

Stuff fresh herbs (Sage) into the creases of his legs. Only fill him up 1/4 of the way full with stuffing (recipe below) and maybe shove an orange in there too. (Why does that sound so sick?) Pour chicken stock into the roasting pan. While he's cooking, inject him and ladle the drippings onto his body. Also, tinfoil Tom the whole time EXCEPT for the last 45-minutes. Check on him. If he's getting too "tan," and your thermometer isn't at Turkey Time, tent him again.

Make a MIMOSA. Drink it. After all, it is a holiday...

STUFFING: I use Pepperidge Farm bread crumbs, fresh herbs (rosemary, thyme, sage, etc.), green apples, celery, onions, salt, pepper, and DRIED CRANBERRIES. Follow the stuffing directions. Mince herbs. Chop celery/onions. Combine everything together. Bake.

MASHED POTATOES: Add a little cream cheese to make potatoes extra creamy.

FRESH CRANBERRY SAUCE: Follow package directions on FRESH WHOLE CRANBERRIES. Add a can of MANDARIN ORANGES. Sprinkle with coconut flakes.

Sweet!

GREEN BEANS: Make both the French's onion ring casserole with canned beans AND fresh green beans (l'haricots vert) with slivered almonds, which you will brown in butter.

Make a martini. Drink it.

GRAVY: Buy the William Sonoma Gray Base. Add drippings. Also, add shallots, after they've been minced and stir-fried in a pan with, yep, you guessed it, more butter.

BABY PEARL ONIONS: Bake in butter, brown sugar, and balsamic. Can we say yum? To save on time, I buy the already peeled frozen bags. I know. I know.

APPLE PIE: Soak apples in Grand Marnier...

Open up the wine! I love a good Pinot Noir on Turkey day. Heck, I love a good Pinot Noir any day.

Eat. Pass out. Repeat. (You may have left-overs???)

Have a great Turkey Day! For those of you who are not celebrating, some of the above tips are still great to try!

Gros bisous! See you next week!

Samantha


 

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