Mastering the Art of French Cooking

On one of many trips from the US to France I watched the movie Julie and Julia. Which gave me an idea. Maybe if acted like Julia Childs – spoke like her, dressed like her, cooked like her, and, er, drank like her – I'd make some new friends.

And then I thought better of it. Well, except for the cooking and drinking part. Like Julia, I tend to nip the bottle when I'm at the stove – usually with a glass of red wine.

Anyways, I've always been a good cook. And I like to do it. I think it's the creative in me. But I can tell you, cooking for a ten and thirteen-year-old presents challenges. After all, their idea of a gourmet meal is MacDo, or McDonald's. Which has me cursing the golden arches. Last night we went there for dinner and la fille actually said, "This is the best restaurant in the whole world."

"..." ( me, rendered speechless)

Once I got over my shock, I turned to the frog and said, "She'll be a cheap date."

Err, I don't think it translated, but whatever.

It doesn't matter what I cook for the kids. All they want is a plate of French fries. Plus, what one child likes, the other, of course, hates. I could spend hours at the stove, slaving away at a gourmand delight, but no, it just doesn't matter. Sophisticated the children's palettes are not.

And that's all I have to say on the subject.

Well, that, and screw you, Ronald! You big freak. French women didn't get fat until you came along.


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